The Silence - Chapter XIV

'No, no, no' I grabbed my curled my hands into my hair, pulling harshly at it as I stared at the screen of my computer, 'no, please, please, he was the only teacher I liked, please' I felt tears stinging my eyes as I pulled at my hair once more. I quickly launched forwards and shut the computer down, my hands shaking as I did so and clambered underneath my bed covers. Terra is my father.
That was the only thing that kept running around my head as I slowly drifted off to sleep in my clothes, dreaming of that bastard who knew who he was and had still sent me to that place, that godforsaken place that still gave me nightmares, made me the way I was now, almost scared of other people, petrified I was going to be attacked again…all because of what he did. I know I should add my mother into the equation, but she actually cared for me, though she didn't visit, she cared enough to make a memory book of me, to keep in contact with Vexen to see how I was doing, Terra had been there in my classroom lying to my face about who he was.
The next morning…I was silent once more, I didn't utter a single sound from my being as I lifelessly pushed myself to get out of the house before Vexen could start asking questions. I had decided that I wasn't going to meet up with Axel this morning, I needed something else to keep my mind off of things and I knew that the answer would possibly lay with Roxas and Demyx, who were still avoiding one another since the argument yesterday, so I had text both of them individually asking them to meet me at the park, without the other knowing, all I had to do was try to keep them together and get them talking.
"This better be important Zex," Roxas puffed out a ball of air in clear agitation as he sat down on the park bench with his hands stuffed in his pockets.
"You kissed Vanitas with that mouth?" I frowned and I saw Roxas's body jolt at the name, friend or not, he did something wrong.
"I told you that he kissed me," Roxas sighed and I raised my eyebrows at him.
"So?" he looked at me as if I was deranged, "he may have been the one to initiate the kiss, but you still kissed him back did you not?" I knew I was right in what I was saying by the way that Roxas had suddenly decided that his shoes were extremely interesting.
"What the hell Zexion!" I jumped at the sound of Demyx's voice and turned to see a look of storm etched across his face and I gulped slightly.
"You tricked us?" Roxas whined and put his head in his hands.
"Boo frickety hoo," I stole a line form one of my favourite films, "I know Roxas did something stupid," I turned to glare at the blonde, "but it's so damn obvious that you two like each other and I swear to god that if you guys don't get together I will have to force you too!" I knew I sounded angry, but I had other things bugging me at the time and these two refusing to admit how they felt was just adding to it.
"He knows how I feel!" Demyx shouted, mainly towards Roxas but still a little at me, "it isn't me that needs to figure things out," Demyx said a little more calmly and I rubbed his shoulder.
"What's the point Demyx?" Roxas yelled and I jumped again, "you never took one bit of notice of me until you broke up with Xigbar, like I was some kind of fucking rebound for you!" Roxas gritted his teeth and his eye narrowed, if this kid would be any mythical creature, it would have to be a Vampire with just how deadly he looked at that moment.
"I never thought of you as rebound after Xigbar!" Demyx exclaimed and moved towards Roxas who was now standing with his hands tightly clenched by his sides.
It was entertaining to watch them discuss and I found myself leaning against the swing, watching them.
"Then why the hell did you come up to me a DAY after you broke up with him with your stupid feelings if I wasn't a rebound?" Roxas snapped as he tried to size up to Demyx, which was hilarious because Demyx was at least a foot taller then him.
"Because you were the reason we broke up in the first place!" I smiled slightly as Demyx's hands came up onto Roxas's shoulders.
"What?" Roxas frowned and a visible blush appeared on his cheeks as he watched Demyx try to gather his thoughts.
"Half way through being with Xigbar I-I started to like you, I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone I didn't even like anymore and I broke up with him, he told me I needed to tell you as soon as I could, I guess it was stupid to tell you a day after…giving you the wrong impression," Demyx muttered his explanation and I was just about to whack Roxas around the back of the head for not replying for such a long time, but for once Roxas took things into his own hands and pulled Demyx down by his shirt and kissed him.
'Miss accomplished' I sighed knowing that I no longer had anything distracting me from Terra and I sighed, leaving the newly acclaimed couple and made my way across the frosty floor towards the school building.
'So what if he's my dad, he doesn't need to know that I know…but…I want to tell Axel' my heart seemed to heat up in my chest as I thought about Axel and I whined at being stupid enough not to wait for him this morning.
"Why'd you go straight to school?" I looked down as a pair of hands rested on my stomach and I fell back into Axel's embrace, "something wrong?" he whispered and he kissed the back of my ear.
"No," I replied and turned around so that I could touch his lips with mine, grabbing a hold of his hand and pulling him out of the cold and into the school building.
"I missed you last night, I wish you had stayed round mine," Axel pouted and I had to agree with him, they are so many reasons why I wished I had taken Axel up on his offer.
"Me too," I sighed and kneed the lockers to get mine open as it always stuck to the frame.
"So what about tonight?" Axel grinned and rubbed my lower back, "nothing perverted I swear," Axel held up his hands in mock surrender and I finally felt my body relaxing a little.
"I think I'd like that," I replied quietly and cuddled into him for a while, ignoring the looks we were getting. Why people think that homosexuals are equal to heterosexuals is anyone's guess, because we weren't, being in a relationship with the same gender was always going to give you un wanted attention whether people thought we were equal or not.
"Good, but I now need to go to the toilet," Axel whined and squeezed me tightly before leaving my side.
I couldn't help but watch him as he walked away from me with a somewhat penguin styled walk, I was stupid to think that Axel wouldn't be able to distract me from what was on my mind.
"Look who it is," I nearly choke don my own breath as I felt someone's elbow come smashing down into the top of my back and I stumbled forwards, looking over my shoulder in fright as I saw Marluxia towering over me as he had done many times before, he had been suspended for what he had done for the maximum of three weeks, to be honest I had forgotten all about him during that time.
"Fuck off Marly," I spat and I saw a little surprise glisten in his eyes as he heard my voice.
"Oh so you have a little more bite to your already stupid form do you?" Marluxia grinned and I clenched my hand into a tight fist, I was angry enough without him bothering me again.
"Marly, leave him," his friend (or accomplice, I didn't really care) Larxene pleaded as she shook his arm and flinched as Marluxia violently jerked away from her.
"Why should I?" Marluxia scowled at her and she rubbed the back of her neck, seeming more shy than evil as I had expected her to be by the way that she looked, "he's the reason why I was suspended, if he hadn't 'told mummy' on me then I may have left him alone," he snarled as he grabbed a hold of my shirt and my own hands gripped his, my nails digging into them, but it didn't phase him.
My panicked and wide eyes looked to the left in hope for someone to actually stand forward and help me out, but I just saw 'him'…Terra. Standing there watching with a stunned expression on his face, almost as if his shoes had become stuck to the floor.
"Fuck you," I snapped and quickly kneed him in between the legs, though it was a girls way of getting out of situations, it was damn effective and I pushed away as his hands went directly 'downstairs', almost wailing in agony.
"I thought I told you to leave Zexion the FUCK alone?" I tried to get my balance as Axel suddenly pulled me backwards so that I was standing behind him like a defenseless damsel in distress.
"Well I'm back now aren't I?" Marluxia groaned and pushed his hands on his knees, still in obvious pain and I saw that Larxene was trying to figure out whether to help him, or leave him, "why should I go easy on him, he's so much fun to tease," he chuckled darkly and I nearly found myself flying towards him, but Axel had beaten me to it and slammed him against the lockers.
"He hasn't done anything to you!" Axel yelled and I looked to Terra again, gritting my teeth as he still just stood there, "you're just someone who thinks that you can push people around Marly, why don't you fuck off?" Axel threw the pink haired male towards Larxene and a short black haired girl, who was just walking passed, and both girls quickly scurried out of the way.
"You're gonn…" Marluxia stopped yelling as a hand gripped his arm and he looked up to see the scowling eyes of our headmaster, Xemnas.
"Come with me," Xemnas sighed and pushed the boy out in front of him, "I've seen enough," he continued to mutter as I launched myself into Axel's chest.
"Zexion!" Axel laughed and stroked my hair like he always did, "you fought back man!" he grinned and I looked up at him, my lips automatically met by his and I fisted his shirt.
"Axel, I need," he kissed me again, "to tell you something," I gasped as he pulled away and he smiled, rubbing my back once more, "you can't get angry!" I whispered and his smile fell.
"Why would I…" I placed my hand on his mouth.
"Promise me that you wont get angry," I begged him and I sighed as I removed my hand.
"Don't give me a reason to be and I wont," this was probably the best answer that I was going to get out of him.
"I found something out last night when I was researching my mum," my eyes flickered to Terra who had now descended into the classroom, "I know who my father is," I saw a confused look appear on Axel's face.
"Who?" he frowned and I gripped onto him tighter so could whisper in his ear and hold him back at the same time.
"It's Terra," I instantly felt him move in my arms and I tried to hold him back, I understood why he was angry, Terra was part of the reason why I had suffered and Axel had said that he wanted my parents to know what they had done, it was just HOW Axel intended on telling them was my concern.
"Zexion let go!" Axel quickly grabbed my wrists and lightly pushed me away, then turned and ran into our History class.
'Fuck sake!' I screamed in my head as I ran after him, flinching as Axel pulled Terra up by his shirt, it seemed that Axel felt most powerful when gripping people's shirts and slamming them against things.
"Axel!" Terra yelled and pulled at the red head's hands, pushing him away, "what the hell is wrong with you?" he added as he brushed his hand over his mouth where I noticed a newly formed bruise was and I sighed knowing who had given it to him.
"You sent Zexion into a hell hole!" Axel snapped and Terra's eyes widened and he looked to me.
"You know?" he stuttered and flinched as Axel raised his fist.
"Of course he does!" Axel shrieked and thumped Terra hard in the shoulder, "your stupid decision made Zexion live through hell," I quickly grabbed a hold of Axel's wrist and pulled his balled hand back to his side.
"Stop it," I muttered and turned to scowl at Terra who was holding his shoulder with a pained expression.
"Zexion," Terra began and hissed as he moved his shoulder the wrong way, "I'm sorry,"
"Only because I found out who you are!" I yelled and Terra bowed his head, "you have no idea what the hell I've been through, what I went through in the place that YOU sent me to!" Axel squeezed my hand gently as tears slipped down my cheeks.
"They assured me that you would be fine there, I wouldn't have left you if I thought that you would be victim to any sort of harm!" Terra replied and I threw my head back laughing sarcastically.
"Oh here it comes," I cried, "you didn't give a shit about me otherwise you wouldn't have left me there in the first place!" I noticed that students were starting to enter the classroom, freezing as soon as I had started screaming, but I didn't care.
"Zexion please," Terra tried to make me speak quieter, but in all honesty this just pissed me off further, "we'll talk about this later,"
"Later!" I spat, "that's always the way with you, lateness, you were late being a father, late saving me from that place and too fucking late for another chance!" I couldn't believe how loud my voice was going and I grabbed my head as I began to feel dizzy, fog smoking around my eyes as I fell to the floor.